According to a blurb in a 2006 Reader Digest: Humorist Spike Milligan, an early partner of actor Peter Sellers, made sure that he had the last word on his grave. His epitaph read “I told you I was Ill”
“Here lies Johnny Yeast, Parson me for not rising!! Ruidoso, NM
None of us ever voted for Roosevelt or Truman” Hallenbeck family Elgin, MN
First a cough carried me off, Then a coffin, They carried me off in. New England
This is what I expected, But not so soon. William Reese, 1872 – aged 21 New England
I am ready to meet my Maker, whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter” Winston Churchill
Murdered by a traitor and corward whose name is not worthy to appear here -Jesse James
Immortatily- missed it by that much -Don Adams
Epitaphs Reported in Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges into History:
She always said her feet were killng her but nobody believed her.
Once I wasn’t, Then I was, Now I ain’t again.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on its wasy down. It was.
I told you I was sick.
36-33-01-24-17 Honey , you don’t know what you did for me, always playing the lottery, The numbers you picked came into play, two days after you passed away. FOr this, a huge monument do I erect, for now I get a yearly check,How I wish you were alive, for now we are worth $8.5
Been here, now gone, Had a good time.
I’ll thank you for not putting your butt on my grave.
I was somebody, Who, is no business of yours
John Penny’s epitaph in Wimborne, England states: Reader if cash thou art, In want of any, Dig 4 feet deep, and thou wilt find a Penny.
Ellen Shannon Fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with “R.E.Danforth’s Non-Explosive Burning Fluid”
Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. HANDWRITTEN IN ADDITION: To follow you I’ll not consent, until I know which way you went!
Mary Keith Marshall’s in Kentucky epitaph reads “She was good but not brilliant; Useful but not great”
One unmarried woman’s grave reads “No hits, no runs, no heirs”